


science written on a chalkboard, with little hearts around it

by electrobolt



Category: Portal (Video Game), Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-24
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-05-15 21:23:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5800639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/electrobolt/pseuds/electrobolt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a mysterious shed has appeared near the old car lot, and nobody knows what to make of it. people are a little scared to approach it. oh well, that's what station interns are for!</p>
            </blockquote>





	science written on a chalkboard, with little hearts around it

Revenge is a dish best served with nice dessert options.

Welcome to Night Vale.

Listeners, we have breaking news.

A mysterious little shed has mysteriously appeared outside the car lot, near Josie’s house.

Josie says that one of the angels went to investigate it, but she hasn’t seen them in weeks.

“They’ve never been out this long… it’s worrying me.” She said, to no one in particular.

I’ve sent station intern Quinn to go take a closer look at this. In fact, we have them on the phone right now!

Quinn?

“Cecil? I’m out here, but the door seems to be… ugh. Rusted shut. Luckily, my mother taught me to always keep a crowbar hidden in my backpack.”

Wow, you’re really prepared for this!

“I know… now, let’s see here.”

That’s sure a lot of… grunting noises, intern Quinn.

“Agh… got it! Alright, seems to be some sort of elevator?”

Why don’t you get in and see where it takes you?

“Um… I’m not so sure this is a good idea.”

Nonsense! What’s the worst that could happen?

“Well, okay. Okay, the elevator is really high-tech for such a shitty looking shed. Oh, Jesus, this thing is fast!”

Uh, listeners, there seems to be some commotion. Quinn, are you alright?

“Ugh… what? What is this place?”

“Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer Aided Enrichment Center. Your specimen has been processed and we are now ready to begin the test proper.”

“W-what? Test? What the fuc-” 

Oh, dear. It seems intern Quinn has been cut off. While we try to get them back on the line, please enjoy this prerecorded word from our sponsors.

The Black Mesa Research Facility. Top-rated in every field. More funding from mysterious shadow governments than all our competitors combined! 

We’re looking for anyone who has experience with theoretical physics! Come work for us! 

If anyone says that we’re irresponsible, don’t believe them.

Those Aperture Science folks are a bunch of goddamned liars. I swear to fucki- oh, wait, I wasn’t supposed to put that in the script.

Anyways, Black Mesa.

Yeah.

Welcome back, listeners. We’ve managed to get Quinn back on the line, though the reception isn’t very good.

“Cecil? ……… testing! …….. fucking deadly…… Jesus shit fuck…. get me out of here!”

Quinn? You’re not coming through very well. What’s all this about a test?

“...... portals……. puzzles…… lasers….. turret guns…. I’m so…… fucking scared…”

“Target acquired.”

“Deploying.”

“No! Shit! Cecil…..”

Quinn? Quinn? Oh, god, listeners, we’re reporting, um, loud gunshot noises.

To the… friends and family of intern Quinn, they were a brave and intuitive intern who went great lengths for good journalism.


End file.
